Ahhh alone...

So today went just fantastic......ly bad. First I go to work at the bar and both Taylor and Tacy are there, Taylor is milking the clock so she can hang out with my favorite moron until they go play golf. I used to kind of like Taylor but the more she hangs out with Tiny T the less I like her as she becomes more like that bitch. Next those to leave (high light of my day) and I am alone at the bar. I am really slow most of the day, of course there wasn't shit on TV so I watch WWE Raw on Telemundo (the spanish channel). Needles to say I still managed to follow what was going on despite not understanding a word they said. So once WWE Raw was over and some thing better is coming on what happens? Someone walks in and wants service. These four guys come in and sit at a table and have drinks, and they just keep having them, and they are talking loud enough that I can't hear the TV. So I am stuck standing behind the bar (instead of sitting in the dining room like I was before they came in) watching TV that I can't hear. The bad part the ass bags stay for like two hours, and only have an average of three beers per person. Their whole damn tab was under twenty five bucks. So of course when they finally leave (thank god) they leave me a lousy six dollars. But they did manage to leave at the exact right time (seven pm) right as CSI was coming on. Of course it is an epsiode I have seen before (I have seen all of them but this season) but it wasn't one I really like. Now the durning this time Tacy, Taylor, and Brett (the chef) come strolling back in and want another round of drinks, I get them and remind them that I close in fourty five minutes and that they need to be back before then to close their tab so I can leave. Not much else goes on until about three minutes to eight as I am locking up the door and doing the last couple of things I need to do before I can leave, guess who it is....Tacy, telling me that I can't leave because those idiots left their purses in the bar and they still want to come back and have shots. Well normally if they didn't have an open tab I would have locked the doors and left and told them to fuck off. But.... I had to wait. They get in at like ten after, and want me to make them shots, I say I will pour anything that doesn't require me to work so both the guys order straight liquior shots, great no problem, the moron girls want shit like sex on the beach, or kamikazis and I explained my position to them again. I was like if you want some thing else come back here and make it your self, I am not doing it since I am closed and I want to go the hell home. So Taylor does, since as I stated before Tacy the moron can't make a drink to save her life. I charge them out and leave, I am not sitting around to wash their damn dishes for nothing (since I know they won't leave me any money). So I meet up with Eric on my way home and give him his new paintball gun, it's a pretty pink Ion (HA HA HA). Actually I don't think it relly looks that bad and it's a really nice little gun, espically considering that Eric got it for about nothing. I go home change clothes and heat up some C.R. Chicks and eat. I go to work and when I get here I find out that my other favorite moron called in today! GOD DAMN IT!!! I then come to the realization that I don't actually know how to do her portion of the night audit. That presents a bit of a problem. I look at the paper work, I fill in some of the reports as best as I know how (god knows if it is right or not). Tomorrow Jeff will be in and I will be able to ask him what I did and didn't do right. But the funny thing is I am done with the shit she has to do (save a few things) at two am. If (and that is a big IF) I did them right that would mean I did them in like three to four hours and it takes her eight. Needless to say I have a feeling my boss is going to call in the morning saying I did something wrong. And you know what? I don't care.

Oh so my car's check engine light came back on. Now I am going to have to drive back to West Palm on Wednesday. I asked my Dad to call and talk to the guy we got the car from and Dad had to just be a cunt about it. He really was, he has been pretty nice to me latley but I don't know what the hell his problem was, perhaps I just caught him on a PMS day or something.

Yesterday was a much better day, I worked in the afternoon at the bar and that was so so (it would have been better but Michelle stayed late to "Help" and ended up taking half my tips when I could have handled all of the business alone). After work I met up with Eric to pick up my Fett helmet and his. Originally I was going to just pick them up and go but I couldn't find anyone to hang out with so I sat and chilled with Eric and some of his friends for a bit and then Eric, some floozy he might be banging, and I went and say Hot Fuzz (the movie) and it was glorious! I laughed through most of it, it was rather well done. It was done by the cats that did Shawn of the Dead (which I also loved) and it was a similar style but a totaly different movie. I was very happy that I got to see it (since it wasn't playing near me and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to or not).

I am still waiting on Chad from the IT desk to call me back and tell me I can do the audit and I am bored. I am going to go write a PM to a guy about the Boba Maker helmet and my opnions of it (I like it). So I am off.

Another day another fist full of money.

Welcome back faithful readers, and new readers (I hope) alike. I am not sure why I care if people are reading this or not I guess it just strokes my ego to know that people are interested in what I have to say enough to read my long ass ramblings every day. So I don't remember if I mentioned prior to this what I do for a living or not, and since I am too lazy to go back and read all that shit I will assume I didn't and just type it again.

I work two jobs, one is a fourty hour a week five day, eight hour sort of deal. That is the hotel job that is overnights (where I get all the free time to type all these long blog posts) the other is at a golf club bar/grill. I work as a bartender/waiter. I work about twenty hours a week (four days) there. The money is decent and it usually isn't hard work. Also until a few days ago my best friend was my boss, but he has left the place and now I have a real boss, and that sucks anus. But most of the time I work alone at this job and that is great, since I hate people. But on Friday nights I work with a tiny little annoyance of a person named Tacy. Now Tacy is also a moron, similar to the way that Elena is a moron but also different. Tacy is also a bitch, and that kids is a bod combination, you can't be stupid and a bitch why will anyone like you? Why you ask? Well be cause she has big boobs. I can only assume that is the reason why any one talks to her, she is short, blond, big boobed and mildly good looking, not like really hot but not an ugg-o. But I don't really find her attractive at all, and on top of that she is a retard and a bitch and that is the double wammy deal breaker for me. Some how this one has been working at this bar, tending bar and making drinks since like september or October and yes she still can't make any drink that involves more then one liquor or ingredients that aren't pre-made. Like she can make a bloddy mary, but only as long as we have the bloddy mary mix. She can make a grey goose on the rocks because it is just vodka and ice. She can even go so far as to make a vodka tonic or seven and seven. But god forbid you wanted something like a martini, not that a martini is hard to make but she has to put three things into the shaker and shake and then pour, clearly that requires years of bartending experience. And forget something like a margherita since we don't have a premade mix for that we make them from scratch, you just won't get one. Now I am not saying I am the worlds best bartender, hell I know I am not, and to help both myself and everyone else I went out and bought one of those "Bartender's black book" it is a book that contains recipies for about every single drink you can imagine and how to make them. Yet still she can't make anything that requires even a little bit of work. Oh and she can't open bottles of wine, again this is not a ancient skill passed down by ninja masters only to those of us lucky enough to be chosen by the elders, it is a simple task that damn near anyone can do. You know what it boils down to? She is a lazy bitch and she has learned that she doesn't have to learn to do anything becuase she can either have someone else do it for her or just not offer those things and no one will care. I hate her. So how do I exact my revenge? On Friday nights when we work together I leave at nine pm sharp. Regardless of what is going on or how busy we are, leaving her there alone. Why you ask? Well I have to go home and get ready for my other job. But I of course still make her split tips with me fifty/fifty. And I make someone else who is there with her watch and make sure I am getting my fair cut. So after I leave she is stuck there to do all the cleaning and what not all by her self, and you know who is punishes if she doesn't do it? HER SELF! She opens the next day every week so anything she doesn't do screws her in morning. I love it. Now I will say, none of my other co-workers at the bar can make a drink to save their life either but at least the others ask me to show them how to make stuff from time to time. They want to learn so when I leave (and I will probally right after CIV) they aren't useless.

So on with the rest of the show. Tonight when I was checking TDH (www.thedentedhelmet.com) I get a new PM in my box. It is from my good friend Bob (webcheif). It is the most random PM I think I have even gotten so I feel I have to share it with everyone. Subject: "Yo" Message: "What up biatch?" That's it. I guess he noticed I was sitting on the boards because he sent it while I was online. My response: "Chillin like a villian. Whats Crackin?This by the way was the most random PM I have ever gotten! Congrats." Now what is random about this is not that Bob sent me a Pm to see what is up, he does that every now and then as I have known him for several years now and I only see him at large conventions, but the random part is the way he asked. I laughed for several minutes on that one. If I would have gotten that same PM from Eric or Scotty G I wouldn't have thought more about it. But it was strange coming from Bob. Good times.

I am really bored tonight. the CTRL-ALT-DEL comic today was pretty funny, everyone should go check that out. If you don't know why he has werid looking robot hand/gloves well that means you haven't taken my advise and read this comic and you as a jerk. Go back and read it! NOW!

Oh I confirmed with Robert at work tonight that one of the day workers, Jill, whom I went on a pseudo-date with a while ago is pregnant not just getting weirdly fat. I thought that was odd. But of course I couldn't ask her because if she wasn't preggers then she would be mad I called her fat. Needless to say there are some women who pull of the pregnant look well, Jill isn't one of them. Oh and Rob tells me it is twins! Crazy!

Back in Orlando....

So I am back in Orlando, back at work, and back on here wasting time. I drove down to West Palm Wednesday morning. I left work early with the plans to go home and get on the road early (four thirty am early!) but instead I went home, put some clothes in the dryer, and read a bit waiting for the dryer to finnish, I then feel asleep. I wanted to sleep until like seven thirty-eight am...but of course that shit didn't happen as my damn phone started ringing at seven am. So I ended up sleeping until nearly nine. By the time I got on the road it was ten thirty. But never the less I got down to WPB by twelve thrity and met my Dad for lunch and to drop my truck off at the place we got it to fix the problem it was having (the whole point of the drive down there). Dad and I went to one of my favorite food places down there, John Smith Subs, they make steak subs that are awesome. The problem with them is they are stupidly expensive. For the two of us it was a twenty dollar meal! It's just two subs, two small drinks, and a large fries. While we were waiting for the subs to be cooked I wondered over to the hobby store that is right next door to the sub place since I knew they had a good selection of paints. I picked up two bottles of paint for my Fett helmet. I dropped Dad back off at his work and went to the store to pick up what I needed to make dinner that night. I went back home and tried to take a nap, in vain, instead I watched a bit of TV, I flipped between a show about future cars and a skateboarding competiton. At five I picked up Dad from work and we went home. I started preparing dinner. Of course right about the time I was going to put the food in the oven to cook I get a call from the girl who is coming over saying she is going to be late, so I turn the oven off and wait for her to call me and say she is on her way before I start it again. She ends up being about a half an hour late, which was no big deal. I cook dinner, and invite my Dad to join us, she shows up we all eat, and then she and I sit out on the patio talking until half past midnight. It was really nice to see her again since I hadn't seen her in like five or six years. She put on a little bit of weight, but she is still a good looking girl, and everyone puts on weight in college. Plus with the amount of stress it sounds like she has had lately I am supprised she wasn't Jabba the Hutt fat. As I predicited nothing happened between the two of us, though she did seem more responsive to me then just your average person, in that she likes me way. But I doubt anything will happen since she lives three hours from me and is nearly impossible to get ahold of. Regardless I had a really nice time. I went to sleep around one thirity am. I stayed up a while watching old epsiodes of American Gladiators. Man I used to love that show, and you know what? It is still just as awesome! Why don't we have games shows like that anymore? Man on that show even if you won you still lost, cause you spent the last hour having your ass handed to you by three hundred pound body builders! Today's game shows suck, look at this peice of shit show "Deal or no Deal" if you get on the show you win. You can't possibly lose on that show, at the least you are walking away with a dollar, and that is more then you walked in with. It's not even like you are working for your money or answering trivia questions or anything it's totaly bull shit! I hate that show... Comedy Central does have one I like though, called "Distraction" it's a triva game but they screw with you while you are answering the questions, like they make you a wrestling dummy for a guy while you have to answer questions he is body slamming you. Or you are sitting on the toliette in front of everyone and to buzz in to answer the questions you have to pee! And after all this at the end you win three cool prizes, but you have to answer three more questions fast or they destroy your prizes, and I really mean destroy, not you don't get them so sorry, no they smash them with a wrecking ball or some shit. That is funny to watch a guy or girl get so far and beat everyone else and then lose all three of their prizes because they couldn't answer three simple questions. But back on topic, today I got up at eight to go get my car, they fixed the problem (I don't know what it was, but the check engine light was on, they replaced some part that cost them two hundered dollars and not the light isn't on anymore) and I went back home and went to sleep. Once again my damn phone rang like four times while I was trying to sleep, so I ended up sleeping much later then I really wanted to. I got up at like tweleve thirity. I was going to meet Greg but he decided he was a vagina and wanted to stay home. So I went to my favorite resaraunt on the planet (which is only down south DAMN IT!) a place called C.R. Chicks. It is a clever name since they cook chicken and they do so on a rotisserry (spelling?) in the front window so you can actually C (see) their Chicks (get it??) ALSO they employ young attractive girls to work the counter at the place (usually sometimes they are ugg-o's) so you can see their chicks in that way too. Now because I am a smart sort of guy you think I order one order of the stuff I like? Hell no, I ordered a catering tray of the shit for ten people! That way I can enjoy that stuff for a full week or more. Sure it was expensive but that stuff is a big slice of heaven in pasta and chicken form. I am sure there are more important things in life to spend sixty three dollars on but I can't think of any. (remind me of that when I am bitching later that I am worried about money for CIV)

Tonight at work as just been fucking nuts. From the moment I walked in tonight it has been one thing after another all damn night. I have had check-ins from eleven all the way till four! Who checks in at four am? At one point the other guy who was here until one dissapeared for like thrity minutes and I have no idea where the hell he went. The phones were ringing off the hook and I had three people in front of me all at once. I hate busy nights like that. That is why I stopped working days, to get away from that kind of shit. I have had a headache all night from not being able to drink enough Dew (damn caffeine). Here in just a few minutes I have to start giving wake up calls, I think I have about fifty all before seven (when the next shift comes in and I can dump that shit on them). I was so busy I had to shut down my damn IM session when I got here cause people kept talking to me and I couldn't answer them.

Master Replicas released pics of their new stormtrooper helmte, I have been waiting months for this thing, and I must say the pics are pretty dissapointing. I think I am going to put one on order and then hopefully they will have one at CIV and I can look at it in person and then if I still don't like it I will cancel my order.

I am really tired tonight, and I want to go home, but I can't...

Oh they hired a replacement for Jeff, she starts Monday. I hope she isn't retarted like the other moron I work with.

That's it tonight, since I have so much I have to do I really don't have much more time to BS on here. Plus I don't have much more to say. Sorry this one wasn't as amusing as some of my other ones. I guess I just wasn't that angry tonight. Perhaps I will rant about some driving issues later or tomorrow. Oh and tomorrow I work my other job so I am sure I will be able to rant about my retarted coworkers at that job. So adios.

Ahh I did nothing today!

So today I needed to go to the post office and mail out some material for my Fett jumpsuit, a set of Fett chest lights I sold, and my entry forms for the Star Wars C4 costume contests. Did I do those things you ask? NOPE! Damn it. I ment to, but alas sleep won again. If you are waiting on a set of chest lights from me I swear I will get them out by the end of the week, I am going to try to get them out tomorrow but I don't know where the post office is down in West Palm. Oh I am driving to West Palm tomorrow to get my new car looked at (the check engine light is on). But it affords me a chance to watch TV all day long, look at porn on the internet (something I can't relly do at work) and sleep in a bed that I don't like in a house that is twenty degrees hotter then it should be. But I do have a psudeo-date tomorrow. While I am home my friend from high school Julie, who I have had a thing for since I met her, is coming over and I am making her dinner. I am sure it won't go anywhere since I am sure she still has nearly no interest in me like that. But at least I will enjoy the company for a while. I don't know what I am making her yet as she hasn't sent me an answer to my menu choices I gave her.

Did you know that you can buy porn on Ebay? Yep you totally can, you have to know how to look for it but it is there. The only thing that worries me about it is that none of the sellers (at least none I have seen) take Paypal, all want money orders or checks. This concerns me, not that Paypal ever actually gets you your money back if you get hosed but at least they say that they do.

So yesterday I made mention of a McDonalds rant, and while I did have them for dinner tonight and they managed to only mildly irritate me tonight I will do it up. So....

[pre-rant] All right now as most of you now know I eat McDonalds about three to four times a week. This is not because I love McDonalds, nor because they have great food, or their fantastic service, but because I can eat there for three dollars and nineteen cents. Man I can't buy grocerys to cook a meal for less then that. Many ask "well why don't you change it up and eat some where else once in a while?" well my answer to that is: "I would love to, but nothing is open at eleven pm and near my work." Which is a lie by the way, while the part about nothing being open is true I know that even if there was there is still a solid chance I would eat there every day just because I don't like change. When I used to work at the Marriott I ate at Subway everyday, and no I did not loose two hundred pounds like that gay dude on TV. I have had problems with McDonalds ever since I moved to Orlando for school. But I am getting sidetracked from my rant and that just won't stand. So back to the point. [/pre-rant]

[rant] Ok so my promlems begin in College back in two thousand one or so. Prior to this time I had never really had any major problems with McD's. But there was a McDonalds right next to my school, they were walking distance, even for my lazy ass, and they were open twenty-four hours a day. Now down in West Palm every McDonalds is the same, they all have the same menus, same prices, everything. When I moved to Orlando this was the first time "prices at particapting locations only" actually meant something. Some how the store right next to school was twice the price as the one that was a five minute drive away. The one that was further was only open until ten at night also. But they had thrity-nine cent hamburgers every day and fourty-nice cent cheese burgers, man that was the best deal in town. (Mind you down in WPB Wednesdays they had twenty-nine cent hamburgers and Sundays they had thrity-nine cent cheeseburgers) But back to the problems. The store next to school was a constant problem, no matter what you ordered it was never right. I could never under stand this, why when I order a cheese burger with no onions do I get a cheese burger covered in onions but with no pickles? Where is the breakdown happening? Is it with the rocket scientist that takes my order? Does he/she/it not know how to read english (or at all?) and can't tell which button says pickles and which says onion? Or is their finger so damn fat that they are just smashing what ever button that mutant finger hits? Or is the problem with the fuck-tard that works in the back making the burgers? Does he/she/it not know how to read? Or is it so incompitent that it doens't know the difference between pickels and onions? I just can't wrap my mind around how this happens. I mean if they can't build a simple chesse burger correctally what happens when it is time to make the new burger of the month that McDonalds makes?? I relly feel for those of you who are ordering those sandwiches, it must really be like russian rullette for you guys. Now I understand late at night when I go there that they don't have the "A" team on but come on I refuse to believe anyone is this stupid. Ok so that is problem number one. Problem number two actually came to a specific iccident at the store next to my school. One night a couple of us walked over on a break between classes around midnight or so. The store was running a special on quarter pounders two for two dollars. Well since their normal cheese burgers were a dollar also I thought this was a good deal (since I usually hate those damn burgers). So I got a couple of them. This is when the fun begins. I get my burgers take them over to the table and sit down, sitting across the table from me is my friend Brett, and I really feel bad for him on this one, but I open the wrapping on my "burger" and out in every direction shoots hot grease. A massive blob hits Brett square in the face and chest. Some gets on me and some gets on everyone else's trays. So I take both "burgers" back up to the counter, and the manager is the one behind the counter (he also took the order and was really rude) and I say to him, "my burgers seeem to be coated in some sort of a goo" he looks at me like I just said his children were ugly and kicked one of them (which they probally are since this guy looks like the elephant man and Morgan Freeman made a baby and that mutant acne ridden child grew up to work at McDonalds) his response, and I will die remembering this, was "It's just grease!". HA! This is the manager remind you. I reply in as calm of a tone as I can muster at this point "Yes and that is the problem, can you possibly find me a couple that aren't soaking though the outter paper?" He lets out a irrated sigh and says "I will try." He comes back with a couple of burgers that aren't quiet as bad but still gross. Now fast forward a couple years to now. The McDonalds that is near my work is so-so but again it is the only thing near-by that I eat and is open. Their sign says that their drive through is open twenty four hours, their lobby is open until one am, and they serve a full menu until midnight. Remeber all of that as it will come in in a minute. Now I order the same thing every time I go there, I get two regular cheese burgers, light on the onions, and a small fries. Now at the McDonalds regular cheese burgers are ninty nine cents, and double cheese burgers are on the dollar menu. Now I don't get double cheese burgers because I don't like the meat/bun/condiment ratio of that burger. Now when ever I order and someone new is taking my order they damn near insist that I order double cheese burgers, as though they believe that just because they can't read that clearly I can't either and I don't know that I am paying only a penny less to have an entire burger less. This annoys the shit out of me. Also when I pull around and it takes you twenty minutes to make my food, don't subsitute my regualr burgers for doubles, they are a penny more don't you think if I wanted those I would have order them? I think for two pennys I can splurge a little if I want to. That is not an upgrade. If you want to give me something free give me a damn soda, or a shake, or even bigger fries, or a fucking McFlurry for free. Those are all upgrades. But, and this is where the hours you were supposed to remember come in to play, the thing that bothers me the most about this store is their total lack of time. At least once a week if not more, I pull in at eleven and the lobby is closed, now why you ask if I go through the drive though do I can if the lobby is open? Well if the lobby is closed then all those people that would have gone in are all of a sudden in the god damn drive through making it longer! Also about two-three times a month at eleven they aren't serving their full menu but have switched to their late night menu, which is the biggest rip off I have ever seen. Their late night menu does not include anything that is made with the standard burger patty, only things made with the quarter pound patty. And if you remember I hate that burger. Oh and rember me saying that I now order my burgers with lite onions? Well let me tell you, that must actually make someone's head explode every night. It seems that no two people, or even the same person twice, has the same deffination of "lite". Some nights I get a burger with no onions, some nights tons of onions. About once every two weeks someone does what I call light, which is about half of the amount they normally put on there. Now every night when I say light onions that also apparently means either no pickles or light pickles also. Because I can't seem to get a burger with the correct amount of pickles (two) and light onions, I can have light onions and one pickle or no pickles, or two pickles and tons of onions. I actually got so mad the other night because they had closed their dining room, went to the late night menu, and screwed up my order all in one shot that I actually wrote a nasty letter to the corproate offices. By the way you know what their answer is? Sorry, here is some free food to make up for it. IT'S YOUR FOOD THAT IS THE PROBLEM!!!!
[/rant]

Now just so we know some of this same shit applys to Taco Bell and other fast food places as well but McDonalds is the one that is most consistantly bad.

Oh just so my avid readers know I enabled comments on here so anyone can comment with out having to sign up on this site. So make comments if you would like to. Remember if you want to insult me I can also delete comments.

Oh and Eric isn't a recaster, he is gay but not a recaster that was a joke.

Just a quick one to hold you over

So I got too hungry to wait any longer, and I left work and went to McDonalds and came back. Now I could rant for hours or at least ten minutes about McDonalds but I will save that for later, maybe tomorrow maybe some other day.

I did want to share another comic that I love. It is called Get Fuzzy, and it is printed in many newspapers, but since I don't read the news (nor watch it on TV as I hate that f'in show, it's almost never funny) I am not going to buy a paper just to read one comic, but it is online and I read it everyday. I was also turned onto this one by someone on TDH some time ago (years I think) because it made a referance to Boba Fett, calling a chicken, or maybe the cat (I don't remember and it was way to long ago to look it up) Boba Fat. I laughed so I read some more, and now I read it every day, I even get it sent to my e-mail, just so I can not look at the e-mail, be annoyed with it, and delete it. So since todays was pretty funny I thought I would share it with you, feel free to read the rest of the series.

Oh I forgot I also said I would tell you why I got a new car, well I got in an accident and totalled my old one. I am fine more or less. I will go more in depth on this one later but that is the short story.

Man I should have eaten tonight...

So here we are again, in only a day I already have fans, man that is sweet. So to my new avid readers good evening and welcome back. Tonight is a so so night for me, I got plenty of sleep today and even had some of my favoirte pizza (more on this in a bit) but I was running late for work so I couldn't stop and get food on my way in. So I am quite hungry and the ten peanuts I found in the back office really aren't holding me over. Today when on my way home from work I decided to stop at everyone's favorite breeding ground of stupidity and hepititus, Wal-Mart. I had to stop there because I needed a random mix of things, windshied wipers for my new car (I will explain why I have a new car later too), a bike chain, some wiring harnesses, cat litter, milk, laundry detergent, and I picked up the new Star Wars Insider. And since most grocery stores don't carry all of these things Wally World was the only place I had left, espically since it was seven thirity in the morning. But on to the point of this, I am amazed that some of the people that walk this earth have managed to live to what ever age they are at. I mean it's not like they were really smart yesterday and today they woke up a fucking moron, they worked at it for years. Even at such an early hour the fuck-tards were out, and trust me I don't even think about going to that sespool durning the day time. I was leaving the store and pushing my cart when the absoulte genius and his soon to be pregnant (I assume since stupid people seem to forget how NOT to get this way) girlfriend walk right toward my cart, as though they expect me to move out of their way, well needless to say there was a bit of an accident. I just looked away from them as they approached and then collided with the male, who seemed stunned that this happend, not really mad just shocked. I looked at him funny and then walked on, not saying a word to him. His breeder looked at him and laughed and they walked on. This is what I am talking about, say I was in the parking lot in my car, these are the same type of ass-bags that walk out in front of cars expecting you to stop for them or swerve to avoid them, HOW HAVE THEY LIVED THIS LONG?? What made me think of this by the way is I said I bought new laundry detergent, well I bought a new brand and scent and it lingers on my clothing making them smell nice for hours on end and I can smell my undershirt right now, and I like it. It may also be the cause for the mild headache I have but that could just be because I have only had a single can of the Dew today...

So after the expedition to the retard zoo I went home and tried to stay awake becuase I needed to go to the bank and post office. Did that happen? NOPE! I was asleep in under ten minutes. But I did set my alarm to wake me up at three so I could still make it to the bank prior to them closing, and I did. (That ususally doesn't happen, usually the alarm goes off and I turn it off and go back to sleep) But did I get restfull good sleep? Of course not, I left my phone out in the living room just so it wouldn't wake me up (that and I forgot where it was when I layed down) That damn thing went off several times, god knows who it was, well ok I now know who it was since I looked at the caller ID, but that is neither here nor there. **see side rant about caller below** So I got up, went to the banks, cashed my paycheck, deposited the cash into my account and then drove back. On the way home I got hungry so I stopped at my favorite pizza place here in Orlando, a place called NYPD (New York Pizza Dept.) they serve, wait for it, New York style pizza and it is actually quite good. They have a slice called the "Oneeota (spelling?)" basically it is a cheese slice that they serve hot but right before they give it to you the cover it in cold cheese, it is a little slice of heaven on earth right there. I had couple along with some garlic knots and enjoyed every minute of it. Went home and actually did some house work, I cleaned my carpet where the dog felt it nessicary to piss all over. Man I am glad I didn't have to pay for this carpet cleaning machine, I stole it from my parents. I am glad because it didn't do SHIT! Then I went back to sleep.

Last night while here at work I was talking to a guy from TDH about just random shit and I was reading a thread on the RPF about a test some guy took, and it made me think of Family Guy, the episode where Peter finds out he is retarded. When Peter goes to take the test instead of a calculator he has one of those things kids have with the handle that you pull and it spins and then points at an animal and says things like "the cow says MOOOOO" and he is filling in the answers accordingly. But that got me to thinking, why do we teach kids that? How is that important in life? I mean where is the test that has a picture of a cow and asks what does this animal say? Does it happen much later in life, like close to death? Couldn't we be teaching kids more important things like math or english? It's not like if I was in nature and saw a cow knowing that it said moo would help me in anyway. I guess if I was looking at a cow and it said quack or something and I didn't know it was supposed to say moo it would be strange. Just like the alpabet, why does it matter what order they go in? I mean if I could remember all the letters but not in any order would that matter? I think when I have kids I am going to try to teach them the alpahbet in a random order, and change it everytime. Yea it will be harder I am sure, and then they won't know the song when the kids in school sing it (they still do that yes?) but he will be smarter I think. I will teach him that and that pimping aint easy. Mom will do the rest.

So last night I promised to talk about my coworker that I hate, and I didn't. Sorry, I know several people were looking forward to that, well tonight is the night. Just not right now.

So I mentioned I would rant a bit on the caller and so I will, and that I will do.....NOW! Ok so I get calls from some random eight hundred number. I don't know what they want, I assume money. You know why I don't know what they want? Because everytime I actually answer the phone or they leave a message it isn't a person on the line, it is a recording telling me to call them. Why the hell do you call me only to tell me to call you??? If you are going to waste my time calling me at least have the decency to have someone to talk to on the fucking phone when I answer. I don't want to pick up the phone and be told by a recording to hold either. That one drives me nuts, YOU call ME and then put me on hold before someone ever actually talks to me? Not if you want money from me you don't! **end rant**

Ok now I have teased you about it for two days (three posts!) and any more teaseing and I will have to start dating you. So on with my coworker non-sense:

So at my night job, which is my acutal full-time job by the way, I have two coworkers. A guy named Jeff, who was here when I started, knows what he is doing, smart, quite, and gets the job done every day. And then there is Elena, she started in September, she is a moron, every day seems to be her first day, she talks to her self...all the time for eight hours, and she has to ask how to do her job everyday. She also can't seem to do the same job Jeff does in twice the time he does it in. Example: On the days that I work I come in at eleven, on the days Elena comes in she comes in at eleven, Jeff always comes in at one am. Now on the days I am here Elena and Jeff do the same job (on the days that there are just two of us here not all three) I do the same job every day no matter who else is here. Jeff comes in at one and gets his job done by six-six thrity. Elena comes in at eleven, does the same job as Jeff, and some how is scrambling to get it done by seven, some days she stays late to finnish it. Now I do like to talk to people, and I am a bit long winded at times (as you can clearly see from this five page post!) but at night at work I like to sit and just do my thing and not be bothered, I could really do this job alone as long as the other half of it got done. Jeff is the same way, when he and I work together we have less then five minutes of talk all night in a six hour shift from when he gets in until I leave. It's not that I don't like Jeff, it's just I have things to do and so does he. But some how when she is here I hear her all damn night long, she talks to her self, she can't seem to do her work with out doing so. It's like she has no inner monolouge, thoughts come into her mind and out her mouth all at the same time. And while I learnd five months ago how to tune the sound of her voice out she has a bad tendancy of talking to her self, and with out missing a beat or chaning her tone, pitch or volume, all of a sudden be talking to me. Then when I ignore her (most of the time because I didn't even know she was talking to me) she complains to our manager that I ignore her questions and I am not helpful. And while I am on the subject of questions, some how every night is her first night, and I mean that ever night she has to ask me a dozen or so questions about how to do her job, most of them are the same questions she asked the night prior. When she was new I just chalked that up to learning a little slower then I did, but now, eight months later there is no longer an excuse. I stopped knowing the answers to her questions about two months ago, and I mean that she askes me shit and even if I do know I say I don't so she learns not to ask me shit anymore. I really feel bad for Jeff, since she knows he knows how to do pretty much anything this job needs done. I have asked him and he said it is pretty much non-stop all night long. Oh and I forgot to mention that she speaks with a heavy accent, and I often have a hard time understanding what the hell she is saying. Well I think that is all on her for now, I am sure she will piss me off later and I will talk more about it

Also I think that is it for thie night, at least until the morning if I get bored again. Also my friend Eric is demanding that I write something about him in here, so I think he might be gay, his name is Oldtimer on most boards including TDH, RPF and FL501st.com. Actually I am pretty sure he is gay, and a recaster don't sell him anything.

Second Verse same as the first

Ok, so I have finnished my work, and my dump (which was rather lightening) and I have returned for another round of verbal abuse. But first I must tell everyone I can think of to check out this webcomic about gamers and nerds in general, since I know many of the people that are reading this fall into one of those two groups most will find it funny. http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php I have become addicted to this comic. I actually sat down over the course of about a week and read then entire series of the strip from the begining until now. Well little did I relize that it was like a three year long comic, oh well it's not like I had anything better to do. So read the thing, as much as you can stand to read, I suggest the whole thing as there are many funny strips in the early days. Below is the actual strip that made me start reading it in the firsts place, if you haven't seen the movie 300 yet, well first kill your self, second go see the damn thing fuck-tard it's amazing, but you won't get the joke in the strip.

So now on with the show. Since I am hopeing that there are a few of you reading this that don't really know me I will tell you a bit about who I am and what I do. First and foremost I am Mark, son of Milton (why don't people ever introduce themselfs like this anymore???). I am twenty five (unless you are reading this after Dec 2, 2007 then I am older). I work two jobs, one durning the day four days a week as a bartender at a golf course. The other job I work is overnights at a hotel doing front desk/ accounting type stuff. The latter of the two affords me lots of free time to play on the internet and pays well. It is also the source of several upcoming rants, one of which will even be tonight. I also paint replica props and costumes as a side income from time to time. I am single as of today, I haven't had a "girlfriend" in over a year (man that sounds pathetic) but I did continue sleeping with my ex for nearly a year after we broke up, we hung out, we had sex, we did everything couples do except call it that. The story of her is a long and tiresome one that I am not in the mood to go into right now, perhaps that will come later, perhaps not as I am doing my best to not even think of the whore-bag. I find it difficult to meet women these days as I spend my few waking hours that are not at work at home working on my props and things. I have a dog and a cat, and I love spending time with them, well the dog anyway. I drink Mountain Dew (the nectar of the Gods) like it is going out of style, not because I really like it, more so because it caused me to have a serious caffine addiction and now it is what keeps the headaches away. I eat pizza very often as it is my favorite food on earth. I eat McDonalds at least three to four times a week prior to going to work at my overnight job. (I don't care what anyone says, it's cheap, I like it, and it helped me lose fourty five pounds) I am quite the chef and I do cook at home very often but I like to eat out just so I don't have to cook. I am not religious but I do believe in a God. I respect everyone's opnion on religion as long as they don't try to force me to convert to what they believe. When I was younger I did not have this same notion and thought that religion was stupid and everyone should be told how dumb it is. I still believe religion is stupid but I have learned respect for other people's decisions on how to live their own lifes as long as they do the same for me. I am a very sarcastic person almost all of the time, as though you hadn't noticed by now. I also have a strong will to give nearly everone a hard time pretty much all the time, if I am not giving someone a hard time it is becuase I like them so little that I don't want to waste breath on them. I can be the nicest person you have ever met and the best friend you will ever meet, I can also be very mean and nasty when the time calls for it (see whore-bag referance above). My real friends know that they can trust me with anything and that I would do anything on earth and beyond for them. My enemys know I will go to the end of the earth to spite them. I am very shy when people first meet me, but shortly after I open up and become very outgoing. I am always honest to everyone. I am very open about almost anything. I am the firsst person to tell you if I don't like something, if you do something and everyone tells you it's great and you want a real answer ask me becuase I am not known to sugar coat things. If you ask me if your pants make you look fat and they do, I will tell you they do. If you ask me if I like your hair and I don't even if you spent hours working on it I will tell you I hate it. Compliments from me are also exctally what I mean, if I am dolling out compliments it is because I acutally mean them, as I don't hand them out often. I think that is enough for now I will get back to rants later tonight when I come in to work, so for now piss off.

Welcome, leave stupidity at the door.

HELLO, and welcome to Mark's first of many blog posts. Yes I have fell victim to the dredded blog craze. Why you ask? Well because I feel it important that my ideas are shared amoung people whom I have never met or people who I barley talk to, as though this will help them better understand me. In reality this will make you a much more cincical person and if all goes as planned you will walk away with a bit more sense then when you came here.... that and hate pretty much everyone. I came here by the way (see note below) because I refuse to use the anti-christ of websites that every teenie bopper and pedofile use (also known as Myspace). I will update this with pics of god knows what as time progress, but for now enjoy my simple typing. Oh and now and in the future, I am sure I will have typos, misspellings, and all around bad english, I don't care. Yes I am now aware there is a spell check button at the top of the post box, again I don't care. I will do my best to spell things the way they are ment to be spelled, if it happens then great, if it doens't well too damn bad.

So you ask (as if they above post wasn't clear enough) what exctally will the tone of this blog be? Well mainly it will be me ranting about shit that annoys me on a day to day basis. It will also consist of shit that comes in my head late at night when I am at work and not working. Since I hate one of my coworkers (I will discuss her at length later) I tend to sit in silence ignoring her and trying to entertain my self on the internet. Which by the way I have found that with all the porn and tastelss stuff blocked by my work, there really isn't much to do on the interent. I have acutally reached the end of the wholesome internet several times.

I will make another update shortly, right now I have some actual work to do and I really need to take a massive dump.


***Notes:
At no point will I be using any of the stupid IM lingo, i.e. LOl, BTW, ROTFL etc. All of this is non-sense and it drives me crazy. I hate most people who use this shit and I want to kill many of them.

By now you may have noticed that I swear from time to time, I guess I could have put this warning at the top but then where would the fun in that be? If you don't like it FUCK OFF.